I feel icky.

[aide]

I don't know why I torture myself. I was stalking people on Facebook, old friends and people who I haven't added but went to high school with or university etc etc. So many of them are either a) still dating the person they were dating 2-3 years ago, b) are engaged, b) are married or d) have kids. Or some twisted combination of all of the above. It's kind of depressing... and yet I feel quite satisfied not to be tied to the same person for that long especially in this tumultous period of post-grad. And that at least I haven't gained weight since graduation. I haven't lost much if anything but I'll take that. I saw pictures of JC and his girlfriend from some holiday party and I hardly recognized him! He's got some cheeks on him now but he looks healthy and happy so that's all that matters. It's all the studying I guess. And you can't go running in the winter. I tell myself that everyday and that's why I haven't started. Yet.

It just made me think (as I am wont to do) about life changes and where I'm heading and all that. I'm not going to get into the whole relationship hang-up (again) but it made me think about that. An old friend from middle school reconnected with me and she's married and having her second baby this week. And another friend from middle school who now lives in Australia and its all pierced up with a kid (I don't know that story though). And then there's Christina but we won't get into that. Rebecca's gained weight too and looks exactly like her mom. Facebook is so devilish... I tried to get in contact with a good friend from high school way back when since we lost touch after I moved to Vancouver but she didn't even reply when I got her university issued email address from a mutual friend. It really makes me wonder... Christina, Rebecca and Nashifa are all pretty religious girls and I am fairly certain that was the driving wedge between Christina, Rebecca and I but I don't know about Nashifa. I tried to call her when I was home last but I guess she never got the message I left with her dad. Or she got it and didn't want to call me back. It's makes me sad.

All I can say is that I'm so fucking glad I left Ontario. Everyone there seems to be settling down and getting fat. And dating ugly people. Not all, but some. It just seems so poisonous. But maybe that's because it's Brampton. If I do ever move back to that pit, I will make damn sure I'm living closer to the city. Or surrounding myself with ... I don't even know if the option of people who are small-minded and backward is available. I guess I'll be reading. Lots. Or going to JC's every free moment. Move over Belinda.

Yeah, I don't know. It just got me thinking. I don't like to sound pretentious, if that's even how I should describe this, but I feel like I'm doing the most interesting thing out of most of the people I went to high school with. I might not have a fancy career or a mortgage or even a fucking car, but at least I'm not living at home anymore. Which is more than I can say for almost everyone. But then again, in Japan, that's not a bad thing.

In other news, I'm meeting an old friend from high school tomorrow for dinner in Ginza. And I have a date on Thursday. ♥

Comments

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

It just makes me hate Ontario even more and solidify the fact that it's a fucking hole and I never want to live there again longer that absolutely necessary. The bonus of not having any friends there anymore (except for JC who lives 3 blocks away) is that I never have to venture out of my parent's house so I can ignore the cesspool that is Brampton, Ontario.

Yes, date!