And then I realized, I'm just slutty.

This guy just came knocking on my door trying to sell me a mansion unit and we ended up exchanging numbers.  He's the second one to ask to be friends, with the same line of "I don't have that many foreign friends so yokkatara let's exchange mail."  And I don't know how to say no.  I deleted the last guy who wanted my address after a month because he didn't have the balls to mail me and I couldn't care less.  This guy today was pretty cute (oh, how shallow I am) and the same age as me.  I don't see what's the difference between this guy and the dudes who picked us up in Ueno Park a few weeks ago.  Nothing ended up happening with the guy I gave my number to there either; I mailed him middle of last week asking if he was free on the weekend but he was busy.   The ball's in his court and I'm pretty sure he won't return it. 

We'll see what happens here.  I do need more friends in Chiba/Kashiwa to hang out with.  If nothing else, I'll see if he wants to go drinking one night but he'll probably be busy anyway.  End of story.  I guess they don't mail you because they think it might be creepy/stalkery?  Well, how does a girl know if you're interested if you don't call her?  Whatever.  I'll probably end up deleting the number in the end.

Only in Japan...

I want Arashi (or at lease Oh-chan) to dance like that. But I know it's never going to happen. I can dream. Gah. I found the "Quest Crew" channel on YouTube and they had most of the videos for download as well, and the other's I managed to rip myself so I have all of them for my iPod now. So I can turn myself on by watching these fine young men rip up on the stage on the train now. I think boys dancing to Britney is my new favourite thing.

Today was day 2 of running. :D I was faster that I thought? Or rather, I didn't estimate the halfway point properly and was done by set before I made it home again but whatever. The feet hurt less today after lacing up tighter, but it just might be I'm that out of shape. Fuckme. Who would have thought after all the walking I do in Japan?

I know I really like someone when I get really obsessive that they don't email me as much as I want to email them.  I'm restraining.  As Andrew says, people don't have time, they make time.  And if he isn't making time to even email me, well.  I don't want to think actions speak louder since I thought things were going in a pretty good direction.  I'm really trying not to obsess.  I swear.

I decided I want to eat yakiniku for my birthday so I sent off a reservation request to Gyuukaku.  They should call me tomorrow to confirm it?  I will have Andrew call anyway and confirm the number since I don't actually know how many people will come.  Probably not all the 8 that I counted. 

Also, we're going to Korea for a 5-day trip at the end of March.  I'm really excited.  I did some reading on Travel Wiki today and that psyched me up even more. :)  I have to go to immigration to get a re-entry visa two weeks before we go (on Graduation Day) but otherwise, I'm good.  I should probably buy some won now since the rate is so wonderful (although it probably doesn't change much?).  W1000 is Y86!  

I was going to make nikujaga for dinner tonight but then I didn't really know what to eat with it.  And I'm too hungry now and don't want to wait an hour for it to cook.  Though, I don't think the leftover thai I have is going to fill me up at all.  

Got new AV cables and 28 Dresses to test them out.  The sound wasn't too terrible for my CSI marathon last night though...

He didn't stay but it was a good date anyway. :D  Though now I feel like it was kind of a waste to clean up so thoroughly.  But it had to be done, I suppose.  I even went and bought condoms!  Well, it's good to have them in the house anyway, just in case.  Don't want to end up like Miharu.  There was some minor league cuddling(?) while we watched TV so I'm happy with that.  Haha.  His English has gotten really good!  Though I don't really remember from a year ago how it was... but we didn't have any problems communicating (with the help of a dictionary :P). 

K's email: "I'm sorry to go back home...  Because our leader suddenly decided to hold a meeting. :(  That's too bad.  But I was really happy to see you.  Thank you for your dish.  It's very delicious.  I wish I could eat your dish again." 

What a sweet boy!  I told him I want to cook for him again too and to send me mail when he has time.  Too bad he can't come to Andrew's party, or mine if I decide to do something for my birthday.  I feel like going bowling.  

I met Satsuki for dinner in Ginza tonight (kind of a dumb idea cuz we can't afford anything...).  It was great to see her, she looks exactly the same.  We talked about old friends, what we're up to these days, her run-ins with Johnny's and music.  She's on the job hunt right now but actually wants to sing.  She played a couple of her songs for me and wow.  She's got an amazing voice.  I really hope that she gets a chance at a record deal.  I want VIP seats and to be able to say I know someone famous. :D

I figured out what to wear on my date tmrw.  Black button-down (possibly black sweater, depending how cold it is), jean cut-off skirt, purple tights, black flats.  I wish that it was warmer so I could wear my new green coat.  It's not big enough to wear my fleece hoodie underneath. :(  I guess I have to stick it out until it warms up to wear it.  But it's so prettyyy~~

Last session of Quiz Show tomorrow~  And it's Aoki-sensei's class so it will be enjoyable.  I think?

Why do we feel guilty for being up front about our feelings and intentions?  I didn't know that I would end up not liking Satoshi when we met; if anything I was more sceptical that I would.  I feel like a bitch.  Yes, it was my fault for leading him to believe that something might be there but honestly, I thought there was too.  I was getting warm fuzzies when I saw that he'd mailed me.  Maybe it's because I'm (clearly) more mature than he is and (definitely) have more experience in this regard because I know what I want and I won't settle.  I'm not one of those flakey Japanese girls (or boys) who will date someone they don't even really like just to say they have a boyfriend.  How much could he really like me after only talking through emails?  Even after 3 weeks.  I'm trying to justify this to myself and I talked about it with Andrew while we climbed Mt. Tsukuba today (YES I CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN!) and he said that I'll feel better in a few days, and I probably will.  Satoshi and I are just cut from different cloth, obviously.  Would he rather me lie to him and pretend and have him fall for me more and then break up with him because it wasn't working out?  I think I did him a huge favour, even if he doesn't think so now.

From: Heather 11/24 Mon 15:36
I think I should be the one to apologize.  I think I should tell you that we should just be friends.  I told you my friend said to be careful about meeting because the feeling might not be there.  I don't think any more feeling is there so we should be friends.  [That sounds so ESL.]

From: Satoshi 11/24 Mon 16:03
ごめん。I can't find my words!  Just I feel hurt.  Why didn't you say so before meeting?  Cuz my dreaming was becoming big day by day.  Nope, it's not your fault!  I don't have to blame you!  Okay, I got it.  Thanks for great dream!  Bye-bye.

From: Heather 11/24 Mon 22:06
I feel really terrible about everything but I needed to be honest.  I'm sorry you are hurt but it will be better in the long run.  I am sad that my feelings changed suddently too.  If we had met sooner we wouldn't have gotten to this point.  All the best.

I told him that Andrew said to be careful about it but I don't think he understood what I was getting at.  Obviously not since he says he can't stop crying.  ARkjggakjfd why do I feel like the bad guy here?!  It really feels like he hasn't left his little town--no, his fucking house--ever and I am the first friend he's made and I turn around and dump him.  I really pity him and that feels wrong too. 

I don't even know what else to say about this.  So I won't say anything.

Yeah, so on to not so shitty news.  Andrew wanted to go enjoy 紅葉 (kouyou, "red leaves") before all the leaves fall off the trees so we treked out to Tsukuba today.  I've only taken the Tsukuba Express once and was appalled at the price.  It cost 700 yen one way but the rapid only takes 25 minutes from Nagareyama Ootakanomori and stops only once.  From the station we had to take a 40-minute shuttle bus (another 750 yen) to Tsukuba Jinja on Mount Tsukuba and there we visited the shrine and walked up the mountain.  OH MY GOD.  I just did my exercise for 2008.  It was a 2.3km course up to the 871m (2,858ft) summit of 男体山 (Nantai-san, "Man Body Mountain").  It took us about 2 hours with all my breaks.  I have much respect for Japanese old folks that climb mountains in their free time.  Whenever we passed people, we greeted them (or they greeted us) "Konnichiwa~".  It was really cool.

It started raining when we got to the top and we couldn't see shit because of the fog/clouds and it was fucking cold.  We took the cable car down (570yen) back to the shrine and then at some udon at a nice shop that had a pregnant kitty. :D  And then came home, cold and wet.  I brought my camera but it sucks so I didn't take that many pictures.  I'm going to snake Justin's when he gets his uploaded to Flicker.

( Pic spam under cut. )

Alright.  I know that Jboys are not aggressive when it comes to dating.  Or sex.  And that might just be the understatement of the century since... I practically threw myself at Hiroki last year and went home with him (which was a first) and while he did make the first move in bed, whiskey dick happened.  Andrew's (or Justin's?) friend said that you just have to be nothing short of a whore and just get them all worked up first so they'll go home with you because they are too chicken shit to make the first move.  I know this.

What am I going to do with a boy who (at 28) hasn't even held hands with a girl, let alone kissed one?  I told him to leave it to me to show him (*winkwinknudgenudge*) though that makes me sound kind of slutty (which I had to explain).  I said just to have confidence because that's hot.  He can ask me to do anything and I am really affectionate but I won't push him.  I don't even have that much experience!  I'm still waiting for a reply.  :/  But you know... I've kind of always wanted to be the one in charge and have my way with a guy. >D

It's all the gays I know and fucking sex classes I've taken and Savage Love I read.  

His response: 凄い！初めて知った！！とても勉強になる。ありがとう♥　うん、へザーはとても優しい　So, I'm falling for you rapidly, I think ♥♥ [Wow! I never knew that!!  I really learned something.  Thanks ♥  You so sweet]
At least he doesn't think I'm a slut. :D

I have no reason to watch CSI: Miami anymore now that Speed is dead. T___T I totally didn't see that coming! Damn you Rory Cochrane for wanting to be a movie actor. I thought you were gonna hook up with the porn star in season 3 but no, you decide to take a bullet to the chest instead. Sigh.

Still feeling bluesy these days. Looked at tickets for X'mas and I'll be looking at dropping about 2 grand. I don't think so. It was a nice thought while it lasted.

It's nearly the weekend! Party weekend~ Going to Shibuya tomorrow night to some club to see Andrew's friend perform and then Amy's farewell party on Saturday night. Got an email from Christian today about a picnic on Sunday but they're still hashing out details. That would be fun. Christian always garuantees a good time.

In other news... well, I met this dude on Mixi or something like that, I can't remember now, late last year and we were exchanging emails for like 2 months... and then around my birthday we decided we should meet up but couldn't nail down a time and then he stopped mailing me. Oh well, I thought. Then, I get an email from him this week out of the blue! He changed addresses but don't know how recent that is. Anyway. That's interesting. And no random requests for blowjobs so I figure he's pretty upstanding. No pun intended.

Shin Matsudo festival was fun.  Met some new folks and some old folks.  And yea... things with Stephen aren't going anywhere because although I was the one who invited him, I pretty much ignored him the whole time.  I think that's telling.  And all the guys that I could be interested in have fucking girlfriends, but that didn't seem to stop Vicky.  Good for her?  Anyway.  It was fun and I am looking forward to the Kashiwa festival next weekend.  I should get Andrew and Benben to come out for it.  That would be fun. 

I'm most definitely drunk right now but have to take out my lenses at least and drink more water.  Not that I have any plans tomorrow althought Takayuki asked me if I had plans tomorrow; though that doesn't mean he's going to call me.  :/  WHY IS IT SO UNFAIR?  Is wanting a Japanese boyfriend so unfair?  So difficult?  Apparently. 

Arashi ticket hotline is live.  I'll see if I have tickets for the National Stadium concert tomorrow!