The downward spiral

[aide]

So, these drugs aren't working.  It is starting to hurt all the time.  It was hurting to chew dinner last night and it was only chicken.  Even on the right side of my mouth.  I don't have any food to eat and I'm supposed to take these pills with food... but I'm not going to.  At least not breakfast.  I am going to swing by the dentist tonight and make an appointment.  I can feel the swelling.  This is not pleasant.  I suppose I should tell mom what's going on, even though it will do nothing but make her worry. 

I really don't like this.

And in typical me fashion, the only thing I can think is, "This going to impede giving head," rather than "This is going to reduce the quality of my life."  

I am feeling so helpless.  Even doctors won't be able to do anything.  It's not like you can just replace what's broken like a knee or a hip from what I've read (which, albeit, isn't much).  I've got 3 lessons today and they are stacked up in the morning.  I don't know if they will let me leave early if I ask since I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately, which isn't even true.  Maybe I can ask Jun to call the dentist for me and see if I need to make an appointment or if I can just go in anytime, and how much a consultation is going to set me back.  Although, I don't even know if he'll be able to tell me anything that I couldn't have figured out on my own.  As useless as it may be, I want an x-ray done.

They say this is caused by stress... how can I not stress out about this?  It's a fucking endless circle.  A vicious cycle.

And to make things even better, I'm being watched by Tatsuya today.  Even though he's well-meaning, even when he has nice things to say, he sounds patronizing.  That's just the way he talks, I guess.  I hope he doesn't have bad things today about my activity today. :/  I don't need that kind of bullshit now.  I think last time I was sick so at least that won't have changed when he asks, "How are you?"

Comments

[honeycorrupts.livejournal.com]

I hope the dentist will be able to help you out.