I hate that I cry so easily when I'm upset.

I can't return this fucking phone.  I don't understand.  I'm frustrated because it doesn't make sense -- I'm the customer, I'm not satisfied with the product, I want to return it.  Why can't I?  I haven't even paid for the stupid thing yet.  At ALL.  So what's the big deal?  I don't "own it" yet.  I don't want it.  I don't care if my phone bill isn't going to change since I went down to a cheaper plan; I don't want to pay for something I'm not going to use. 

But I'm more frustrated that I can't explain myself or full understand what they are saying to me.  I went to the place I got the phone and they were like "Oh, I'll change it to English for you" but you can't, idiots.  Don't think I haven't tried; I'm just pretending to be that clueless.  And then they tell me they can't do anything.  You sold it to me!  Why not?  It's not like I'm canceling the contract or anything.  So I went to the AU shop in Kashiwa on the way home and they said the same thing.  I'm not canceling my contract.  Ahh, but I am canceling the upgrade becuase if I give back the phone, they won't get 20,000 yen from me over 2 years.  I probably haven't paid off my last phone yet anyway so now they are getting double.  The guy told me the only thing I can do is cancel everything, which costs 10,000 yen and then get a new phone and number, for another 20,000 yen.  IGULSKDFASDKj.  It's only been 5 days since I got the stupid thing.  Isn't there some kind of grace period where you can cancel things?  I'm sure there is in Canada.  I want to think there is, but I've never been in this situation.

So I could either learn to like this new phone and use it, even though I just got new ringtone and layout for the old one (which I fucking should have waited to get... UGH).  Or try and sell the fucking thing on CL.  It must be an old model because the stupid thing isn't even listed in the May catalogue.  

GOD FUCKING DAMN ASSHOLES.  I am so not happy right now.  This is fucking bullshit. 

Okay, I feel calmer now.

I made a post on CL for this stupid phone.  Hopefully someone will bite.  Flist people in Japan (I think there are like 3 of you...)--do you know anyone who wants a new handset?  If I don't get any offers in a month, I guess I'll have to suck it up and use the fucking thing. 

I just had a really delicious basil and chicken sandwich from the bakery across from my doctor in Hiroo.  I feel better with some read food in me.  And I got a cinnamon and cranberry (!!) scone.  It's been ages since I've had anything cranberry.  I'm feeling good because I'm finally starting to see results.  I should hope so, after 7 visits and 80,000 yen. 

It's only 2:15 and it's hot and sunny out.  Maybe I should go take a walk and get some vitamin D.  That should cheer me up.  I should do my laundry and then I'll probably just vegetate until 9pm.  Maybe I'll play some Final Fantasy or read Wicked, both of which I'm almost finished.  I should watch Yasashii Jikan but Computer doesn't like to play videos so much these days.  It freezes up and I need to put it to sleep for things to run properly again.  Maybe it's MSN's fault things start lagging.  I don't even have it on as much as I used  to; no one talks to me. 

In any case, I don't feel like crying anymore.  I'm patiently waiting for littlealex's sexy fic.