Rain on my parade.

[aide]

 Yvonne has a good point: don't get my hopes too high in case the boy turns out to be a total creeper. It is possible. I am... holding back or I feel restrained until I actually meet him and he passes the face-to-face test. I want to say that he's normal and a decent human since we have been talking daily for going on or nearly three weeks but I do need to take everything with a grain of salt, no matter how genuine he seems. Man, I know she means well, but she always tells me what I know but don't really want to hear and then I start to second guess my instincts. And I'm building things all up in my head and I am afraid things won't live up to my expectations when I do actually meet him. It won't be until after I come back from Nagano... I don't know if he's down with mid-week dates but I might push for it because it's just... prolonging the inevitable. I guess? It's Nikki's birthday on the 22nd so it'll have to be either Friday night or Sunday. Maybe I should tell him that now and get it logged and scheduled. Sigh. Why do I have to go and make things all technical and analytical? UGH. I suck at dating. Because I've never done it properly.

Sigh... too much thinking. I wrote a bit more for je_holiday. I don't really know where it's going.  I'm trying to steer it to a confrontation but it's hard.  I figure if I sit down and try and work on it for an hour a day I should be able to finish in time.  I'm over 1000 words at least.  I could be lazy and just end it and leave it as one of those existential emo fics.  I needs feedback. :/