Awake

[aide]

I have been feeling terrible and funky all day.  I am still feeling nauseated and I should have gotten over that ages ago.  I got home and read fic all day.  Reading about intense human relationships in the aftermath of my friend's wedding might not have been such a good idea.  I wonder what love is really like. 

I still haven't heard from my mom or brother, who I sent a couple MSN messages to asking him to give me an update.  JC said he would stop by and check up on my mom and bring my dad some donuts.  I can't believe he still remembers that my dad's favourite is sour cream glazed.  If only I had stayed in Ontario... maybe we would have ended up together in the end.  Well, it's not the end yet, but our paths are no where near coming together and there are many other factors... I won't dwell.  But I think there's a reason why every time I see him, we ended up talking about the what ifs.  It's always bad timing.  I don't want to stay in Toronto and he doesn't feel the urge to leave.

I'm still waiting.

The is a storm raging in Kashiwa tonight.  It's rainy and windy, whipping the trees around like rags.  I hate when it gets like this because the wind gets caught in the pockets of my building's architecture--the balconys, the hallway outside, between my room and the house next door--and it just howls.  It makes sleep very hard to find.  I feel exhausted so it shouldn't be hard but it is.  Thank god I only have to teach Araragi tomorrow.  It's pretty much a waste for me to go in; I almost wish I didn't have to.  Or that they would let me leave.  There isn't a point in me sitting at my desk doing nothing.  I'll write some letters or scribble some ideas down for some stories.  I really am just not getting inspired these days.  Maybe I should start something for the book I keep saying I'm going to write.

Comments

[trivialaffair.livejournal.com]

oh dear. stay safe, feel better ::hugs::