Because I can't sleep.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

It was that 10 hour nap I took on Tuesday that fucked me up.  It's 2am and I'm not sleepy.  I want to watch more Hanadan but it takes like 2 hours to torrent an episode.  Voice it is!  Or reading more Fmylife.com.

So screwed

Slept at.. 3?  Maybe 2:30.  It doesn't really matter at that point.

Woke up at 1.  I'm so screwed.  Unless I have a real valid reason to get up with the alarm, I won't.  Sigh.  Bad girl.  Well, I still have 2 weeks to fart around and sleep all day so let's just enjoy it. 

No hair cut today, it's going to take too long.  Maybe Monday when all the kids are back in school.  I should not even bother showering and go to Iwatsuki but that's gross. 

No one wants to come with me so I'm going to go rock out by myself with my book (starting to read Wicked) and some coffee and have a good ol' time by myself.

Marriage blues? This is really rather random.

I don't know about marriage.  I am really... not anti-marriage but anti-marriage-while-you're-young, kind of.  Maybe I've been listening to too much Dan Savage.  I have to agree, if s/he's "the one" now when you're 24, s/he'll still be "the one" when you're 30 so what's the rush?  I will be the first to admit that I am kind of anti-relationship for all the whining I do about being single.  I am bitter about them because I've never had one (or one that I want to count as one) but I don't think I'm lonely.  Maybe I'm just incapable. 

I felt this way about my career a while back, like being in Japan is holding me back while everyone else is getting started.  I still have 1 more year of school to go so I won't be starting my real teaching career until I'm 26, if I'm lucky enough to get a job right after graduation.  It shouldn't matter, I know, and I'm doing way cooler stuff than other friends of mine but still.

But I feel this way too about my relationship status.  I think I would like to get married, and maybe have kids although I think I might have too many health obsticles to even bother with it.  I think my mom said I would have trouble because I have an RH- blood type?  I don't know.  But there isn't any point fantasizing about that if there's no man (or men?) in my life.  I don't know how to act around married people who aren't my parents age.  What prompted this recent diatribe?  Apparently Mizushima Hiro is getting hitched.  And he's only 1 year older than I am, I just learned.  I think 25 is too young, but then again, this is Japan.  

All the married/engaged people I know:
-- Christina
-- Sumiko (she's also got 2 kids)
-- Katriya? (maybe she's not married but she's got a kid)
-- Kimberley
-- Yuka
-- Lydia
-- Jess
They are all the same age as me except for Lydia.  I wouldn't be surprised if fucking Manuel announced he was getting married.  They're already living together.  I'm really bitter.  And I don't think that is attracting anyone but I can't help it.  Anyway, enough.

Iwatsuki was cool.  The weather was nice.  I took lots of pictures of signage that I need to decipher with the help of a dictionary.  The park was really nice and I saw some really huge graveyards.  Tomorrow I will get up at 9am and go get my hair done.  Tomorrow night we're doing hanami in Ueno Park.  Just waiting for Andrew to make some plans.

Ugh.  Just ignore me.  I'm going to watch Hanadan and try and sleep "early".