Marriage blues? This is really rather random.

[aide]

I don't know about marriage.  I am really... not anti-marriage but anti-marriage-while-you're-young, kind of.  Maybe I've been listening to too much Dan Savage.  I have to agree, if s/he's "the one" now when you're 24, s/he'll still be "the one" when you're 30 so what's the rush?  I will be the first to admit that I am kind of anti-relationship for all the whining I do about being single.  I am bitter about them because I've never had one (or one that I want to count as one) but I don't think I'm lonely.  Maybe I'm just incapable. 

I felt this way about my career a while back, like being in Japan is holding me back while everyone else is getting started.  I still have 1 more year of school to go so I won't be starting my real teaching career until I'm 26, if I'm lucky enough to get a job right after graduation.  It shouldn't matter, I know, and I'm doing way cooler stuff than other friends of mine but still.

But I feel this way too about my relationship status.  I think I would like to get married, and maybe have kids although I think I might have too many health obsticles to even bother with it.  I think my mom said I would have trouble because I have an RH- blood type?  I don't know.  But there isn't any point fantasizing about that if there's no man (or men?) in my life.  I don't know how to act around married people who aren't my parents age.  What prompted this recent diatribe?  Apparently Mizushima Hiro is getting hitched.  And he's only 1 year older than I am, I just learned.  I think 25 is too young, but then again, this is Japan.  

All the married/engaged people I know:
-- Christina
-- Sumiko (she's also got 2 kids)
-- Katriya? (maybe she's not married but she's got a kid)
-- Kimberley
-- Yuka
-- Lydia
-- Jess
They are all the same age as me except for Lydia.  I wouldn't be surprised if fucking Manuel announced he was getting married.  They're already living together.  I'm really bitter.  And I don't think that is attracting anyone but I can't help it.  Anyway, enough.

Iwatsuki was cool.  The weather was nice.  I took lots of pictures of signage that I need to decipher with the help of a dictionary.  The park was really nice and I saw some really huge graveyards.  Tomorrow I will get up at 9am and go get my hair done.  Tomorrow night we're doing hanami in Ueno Park.  Just waiting for Andrew to make some plans.

Ugh.  Just ignore me.  I'm going to watch Hanadan and try and sleep "early".

Comments

[waxrose.livejournal.com]

Way too many people my age are getting married, and I'm still only 21. :/ It's annoying.

[iaoiua.livejournal.com]

They're saying that it's a shotgun marriage.
Seriously, how bad is contraception in Japan?

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding me? Thadsfjsdfkjdf. It's not that fucking hard! (Pun intended.) Condoms are available at the drug store (though pricier than we're used to but Japs don't know any different) and he fucking lived overseas, he should know better. Japanese sex education is fucking shit, at best, or non-existant. I've heard from studies that girls won't ask their partners to wear condoms if the guy doesn't bring it up himself. Man, my high opinion of him just kind of went down a few notches.

[iaoiua.livejournal.com]

Well, there are new developments. I need to re-read about Graves' disease and think about this.
http://unleashthegeek.blogspot.com/

That said, there are far too many shotgun marriages in Japan (well, only because I semi-follow their entertainment industry).

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

I read the about the press conference. Aw. that's okay then. Seems like they really love each other. Is her disease/illness fatal? Maybe they're getting on with it becuase she might develop pregnancy issues later on. And he cut his hair after Mei-chan! Thank god. It was not looking good.

Ironically, for the amount of weddings there are, I don't hear of that many divorces. Maybe they're doing something North Americans aren't.

[iaoiua.livejournal.com]

I see it as a gesture of support. (I'm glad that he cut his hair — looks more mature!)

Her illness is most certainly not fatal if treated early (and I don't see any disease manifestations), and I'm sure that she will receive the utmost care as a celebrity (that's just, in a sad way, true). Until she has her disease under control, which could take a year or even more, it's actually dangerous for her to have children (more so for the baby than for her). Her baby could also have hyperthyroidism from birth, or if she is on specific medications, the baby could even have hypothyroidism. It's actually very good news that she is not pregnant already, because sometimes termination of the pregnancy is even necessary. There are medical regimes that will allow her to have a safe pregnancy. She and Hiro will have to work closely with her doctors when they decide to have a child.

I think that the low divorce rate has to do with Asian guilt, and couples choosing to stay together for children (hence shotgun marriages in the first place). I also expect that rates will rise, as inevitably "Westernization" seeps into everyone's veins x:

[cuizy.livejournal.com]

wow.....hiro.....that's really sudden O_o I think its really dumb to get married just cuz the girl got pregnant.....i hope it's not that :/

hmmmm...... I didn't realize there were a couple ppl our age who never been in relationship either. But I don't really believe in 'the one'. Or love really. lol..... now i'm being really cynical. Sometimes i wonder if I had an SO if some aspects of my life would improve. But probably not.....

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it. I just want to know what it's like so I can see if I'm missing anything good. But the fucking bullshit whining after breaking up is a good enough reason not to ever get involved, if my loser friends are anything to go by.

[honeycorrupts.livejournal.com]

Well considering she's sick, maybe that's why they decided to get married so early. Dunno.

Don't worry, everything will fall in it's place soon. Or try going on more dates.

Don't be bitter darling.

[oviparous.livejournal.com]

i think a lot of wanting to get married young stems from being 'ready', you know? and because of my faith, we're not encouraged to stick around unmarried to each other for too long because we'd be tempted to do it and the temptation alone is a dangerous thing. but that's for me. i think it's also got to do a lot with my fiance, he's been waiting for me to get legal (haha) so i can officially sign the marriage certificate myself, and this is our fifth year together and he's already 28, so most of his friends have been getting married these couple of years, and while married life has its fair share of problems i think he does envy that kind of life, to have someone to go home to and talk to and laugh with. i do, too.

i have a couple of friends my age who are getting married as well, or who are already married. one or two are shotgun, another i'm not close to. it seems to be some sort of a trend recently, i have no idea.

i really don't think you're losing out on anything if you don't have a man in your life. there are so many perks to being single as well, after all. i'd rather you wait and be happy finding the person, rather than just settling for someone who isn't The One. or maybe the person would find you, you'd never know.

i'm glad you got to go to iwatsuki. hehehe. i should be changing my hair colour soon~ will post photos. oh and post photos of the sign!!! hee. since you mentioned it i bet it must be something special or unique. am curious.

enjoy your weekend, dear. i'm going to get some lunch and maybe write fic whoooo.

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

No offence to you, but I almost think that getting married for faith is a crock because people can't be trusted to have sex responsibly. Or they just get married because they want to have sex. Maybe that's just because Catholic schools in Canada have bad reputations and have more teen pregnancies/shot gun weddings than public schools. At least from my stand point. Anyway.

It's just a huge shock that we are suddenly at that age where people are getting married. I kind of thought that was another 5-6 years away. I just found out another old school mate of mine is getting married. -_- Whatever. I bought new shoes today. And got a sexy new haircut. It's not as curly as before, my stylist wasn't there, but looks good and feels good. :D

[oviparous.livejournal.com]

haha i see where you're coming from, no worries. i wouldn't think people get married for 'faith' though - i mean, you've gotta love the person first, right? that's the main reason why there's even a motivation to get married in the first place. if they get married for faith so that they can have sex, then they're getting married for sex, no? i'd have to disagree with people who do that as well.

after i started hanging out with my fiance i've been rather desensitized to weddings because so many of his friends have been getting married in the past year or two. but most of my peers have never been to weddings. hehe. people are getting married younger here because the government gives you a lot of perks if you're married, since our population is aging (we're ranked fifth in the world for aging population) and if you have babies you get a lot of money and all that, so a lot of people are getting married. it's quite scary! this year especially, so many people on 09.09.09.

I BOUGHT NEW SHOES TOO. i wanna do hair ;_; ah it's nice to go back to work after break and have a new haircut ready to show the world~~~

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously they love the person but I think it's more a rash decision than one that's been thought out for a long time. You know what I mean, so I'm just going to shut up about this now. UGH I AM SO WHITE. I need to tan or something.

I'm uploading pictures now! :D

[oviparous.livejournal.com]

i just finished watching door to door and i think you might cry!!!! XD but i won't spoil you. i didn't cry though. i just felt my eyes sting (in the very last part) but no tears. i am so heartless sigh sigh sigh

[maiaide.livejournal.com]

MAN I BAWLED SO MUCH. Esp when mama got her stroke and then in the end, of course. That kind of thing gets me every time. I ended up understanding quite a lot. More than I thought I would? More than I did of Jun's drama when I half watched it on TV. *is proud* We'll watch it again when it comes out subbed.